Here's the story. First, some background. When it comes to her wardrobe, my daughter is picky. It's not that she's terribly fashion savvy. She's just a girl who knows what she wants. I don't always know what she wants. Sure, I've got the basics down pat...she wants to wear a skirt and a shirt every day. She does not care if it comes from Gymboree, or Walmart. It can be designed by Vera Wang or Vera from Mel's Dinner, it makes no difference to Xylie. As long as the skirt has some flare to it and fits her mood of the day she's happy. Shirts are another story. She's passed up several cute tops because they were "too crazy" How on earth a solid purple shirt can be considered crazy is beyond my scope of comprehension, but to my spunky three-year-old it makes perfect sense.
Earlier this month Xylie and I went shopping for some Fall clothes. She hasn't had many opportunities to wear them yet, but this morning was a bit brisk, so she wanted to wear long sleeves. She asked me to pick something out for her. I put Zayden down for his morning nap and left their room with a pink skirt and a pink shirt adorned with a cute kitty cat. It was a shirt that Xylie begged to buy at the store, so I thought I'd thrill her. I was wrong. Some how, from the time we bought the shirt until this morning it crossed the "too crazy" line.
She was about to throw a fit and I was not about to let her wake up Zayden so I wove together a little story. She has a very active imagination and is always inventing new pet animals. Earlier this morning she turned a pillow into a whale...so I thought I'd give her a new friend.
I told her that the kitty on the shirt was named Cali and that she loved Xylie very much. I said that before Xylie picked out the shirt, Cali lived in a store and was very sad at night time because she wanted to belong to a little girl. I told Xylie how happy Cali was to be adopted by her and that although she loves living in Xylie's closet, she really loves being worn by Xylie. It worked. Xylie stroked the kitty, told her she was loved and was thrilled to pieces to wear the shirt. I felt triumphant.
However, when I shared the story with someone who will remain nameless, I was told that I was "terrible." It was said partly in jest, but made me wonder....was my tale too elaborate? Did I really lie to my child instead of just using a creative tactic to get her to comply. I mean after all, she made a new friend and it's not like we can afford her to just discard clothing because of its "craziness." But am I trying to hard to rationalize? What do you think??? Seriously, I want to know. Lay it on me. I'm hoping to get about 10 comments on this one. LOL
Monday, October 15, 2007
Liar or Creative Genius - You Decide
Posted by Angela Nazworth at Monday, October 15, 2007
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6 comments:
I don't think there is anything wrong with what you did. Why can't the cat have a name and be her friend? You just appealed to her. Loving a cat on a shirt isn't much different from loving a stuffed cat. I think it's sweet that she has empathy enough to care about the cat's feelings. If she asks you about it one day, and you decide to "come clean" you could just tell her it was a fairy tale like Snow White or something. I don't know if I am making any sense. Anyway, Hannah is also very picky. I hope I can be as creative on the spot as you.
I wouldn't say it's a lie. I would say whatever works within the scope of reason to get the end result you desire! :) If that means a tall tale about a kitty on the shirt, then so be it!
YES - make up a story to get her to wear the shirt. Was it really true, no, but is there really a tooth fairy, Easter Bunny, etc. NO! I have made up stories about the bath toys being lonely to get Lane to climb in the tub without crying when he doesn't want to take a bath. I think we all do it. I am with your friend Melanie - whatever it takes within reason to ge the end result. We Mommies have to pick our battles very carefully!!
Also, thanks for showcasing little Bug in the blog. What a sweet surprise.
Donna-Thanks for sharing the pix of Lane. He's so adorable!!
A little creativity in reasoning with a child is awesome. I think it teaches using an imagination. What you did was ever so much better than "just hush and put the shirt on!!!!"....(that is probably what I would have done and I am jealous of your response :-)I don't always think that quickly)
I don't think what you did was terrible at all! My kids are always making up stories about the "critters" on their clothing, so you just beat her to the punch. You also avoided a show down, waking of baby bro, and appealed to her imagination.
We spent the day listening to the "numerous" meanings of the numbers three and five on Topher's shirt, btw...
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