Oh my Toe!!!

I was a Brady Bunch fan. Were you? If so, you no doubt recall the football incident with Marsha and her nose. The boys were passing the pigskin on the Astroturf, I mean amazingly manicured lawn, when one of the kids threw long and the ball whacked poor Marsha, Marsha, Maarrrshaaa, in the center of her nose, turning it bruised and swollen just days before her big date with a high school hottie. I'll never forget the infamous flashback scene with Marsha crying out, "Oh, my nose" about a gagillion times.

Today, while in Super Wal-Mart, I clung to a freezer door while silently crying "Oh, my toe!!" There were no footballs whizzing by my grocers freezer, but a flying ten pound box of frozen lasagna was the culprit. OK, it didn't fly, but it did slip from my hand and land directly on my big toe. The same toe that was injured early this week. (I stubbed it on C-Mae's dog food container, but I consider a stub that causes blood to flow from the toe an injury).

The pain honestly rivaled early childbirth. I wanted to cry. I also wanted to shout out a few swear words. I neither cried, nor cussed, but I did hobble out of the store after paying for my groceries.

My poor toe is purple, swollen and prone to spontaneous bleeding. The first person who came to my mind was my beloved MemMem (I didn't think of Marsha until I examined my toe and discovered it resembled her mangled nose), who passed away when I was eight. I thought of MemMem because she once stubbed her toe while vacuuming on a Sunday. A strong believer in the Sabbath, MemMem blamed her stubbed toe on doing chores on a Sunday. I'm not sure God slammed a box of frozen lasagna on my toe to teach me a lesson about the sixth commandment, because my plan was to bring my groceries home, put Z-man down for his morning nap and make it to church by 11. (We went to Wal-Mart at 7 am, because our cabinets were bare and going any other time on a weekend is sensory overload for me.) However, when Z-man went down for his nap, I popped some Motrin and slept as well.

My toe still throbs, but I'm thankful it wasn't my nose.

Side note, this is not my first toe catastrophe. When I was two-year-old, I dropped a large can of corn on my tiny big toe....same toe! No wonder I walk funny.