I delight in seeing Xylie play with her friends. I especially love hearing bits of their little conversations. Sometimes they sound so grown up! While her one friend was visiting a few days ago, Xylie became emotional about sharing a toy. I heard the little girl say "Xylie, you need to pull it together or we're going to get in trouble. Just chill out!" What really cracked me up was that the girl's tone was not mean or aggressive, rather helpful.
Currently, Xylie has two friends that she now plays with on a regular basis. Delainey and Cynthany. Cynthany is our neighbor so she and Xylie have several playdates together each week, infact she's here as I write this and the two girls are happily dressed up as ballerinas and are playing with Xylie's doll house. Cynthany is a sweet girl. Delainey came for her first visit on Saturday. Delainey also is a sweetheart with an amazing spirit and spunk. I had so much fun playing on the playground with the two girls who are amazingly similar to each other both in physical appearance and personality.
Delainey and Xylie having fun together on a playscape.
Three is such an interesting age. I think that problem-solving and conflict resolution skills start to slowly sink in at this age. Although there are many times when a parent is still needed to help little friends share and work through some issues, there are many times when I overhear Xylie and friends work out conflicts on their own with phrases like "Can I please have that back?" and "You can play with this when I'm done, but don't take it from me." and even, "Let's take turns!" This morning, Xylie told me that it is easier for her to share when she is at her friends' houses than it is when they come to her house. What a wise and true comment for her to make! It is sometimes harder to share on your own turf.
If I am to be extremely honest I need to admit that at 33-years-of age I have some sharing issues of my own (those darn 3's! ). Now, I'm good with sharing material things--Do you need to borrow a little black dress? I've got two cute ones. If you're looking for accessories that compliment the black dress, feel free to peruse my jewelry box. There aren't many choices, but you're welcome to borrow what's there. If your washing machine breaks, come use mine, no questions asked. And I am so serious about this. I actually feel blessed to share my things with others.After all, that stuff is, well, just stuff.
It's the non-material things that I have trouble sharing. When Napp and I first got married, I was a jealous wife! Not of women, but of the Ph.D. program he was in. I didn't like sharing my husband with his demanding schedule. I sometimes also have trouble sharing my children. That may seem funny, because there were many times when I asked my friends to pleeeeeease take Xylie for just an hour so I could save my sanity. However, there are also times when I just want time with her and my feelings do sometimes feel hurt when she'd rather spend time with a friend, or with Nanny or Nina or even daddy than me. Not very rational is it? This is not something I feel often, but it does cross my heart from time to time.
Also, we're pretty sure that unless God has different plans, Zayden will be our last baby. So when he was first born I wasn't crazy about having others hold him. I wanted to just cuddle him non-stop. Friends would come over and put out their arms to hold my infant and I would forge a smile and place him in their wanting embrace. But inwardly, I didn't always like sharing him, because I knew that the precious snuggly newborn stage lasts only for twelve weeks at tops. Not a long time in one's lifespan.
What is really funny is that there are also times when I do not like to share with those loved ones I mentioned above. Friends crack up when I tell them that some of the biggest arguments Napp and I have had are over who ate the last of a dessert! And if Napp wants me to watch a movie or TV with him when I finally get a few moments to read a book, do some cleaning, or write on my blog, I can get a bit moody.
Now is the part of the story when the writer lays out some great wisdom about how she learned how to achieve harmony with these struggles. Sorry folks, I've got no gem to share with you here (pun definitely intended).One lesson I am still learning is how to balance my needs with the needs of others. I'm great when it comes to emergencies, but in day-to-day activities the lines of sharing become gray. When am I being selfish and when am I taking the time for myself that I need to replenish to be a better wife, mother and friend? I certainly think there is value in doing things that give us pleasure and that God wants us to enjoy our lives and the many blessings He's given us. So, that balance is still unclear, but I do think motivation is part of it. If I am not sharing my personal time because I'm exhausted and need time to energize, that is one thing. But if my lack of sharing comes from hurt, anger, bitterness, or just plain selfishness then I believe that is a heart issue and one that I need to spend time praying about and working to resolve.
In my quiet time this morning, the following scripture touched my heart.
I Timothy 6:17-19
Command those who are rich in the present world not to be arrogant nor put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with EVERYTHING for our enjoyment. Command them to do good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so they can take hold of the life that is TRULY the life.
Isn't that beautiful and inspiring? I'm not a theologian, but I think that wealth applies to more than material items. I think it also includes time, spiritual gifts, and yes, chocolate cheesecake!
(I finished writing this blog and then had a "laugh-out-loud moment" that I just need to put in here because it is related to Xylie's current playdate and them working out issues. There are two funny stories. (1) Cynthany was getting pretty loud and I heard Xylie nicely say "Can you please be mroe quiet, I need some peace!" Earlier I heard Cynthany pose a similar request to Xylie. "Xylie," she said "that squeaky noise you're making hurts my ears, can you pick a different noise to make?" How cool is that! (2) The girls were having some sharing issues earlier so I set a timer. When the timer went off it was time for them to switch toys. Just minutes ago Xylie called out "Mommy, we're having another problem in here and need your help!" I came in and Cynthany requested that I set the timer. "She wants this white pony, but I really want it, could you please set the timer and then I'll give it to her when it beeps?!" I said of course and commended the girls on their great-problem solving. Xylie smiled and said "This is sooooo a great way to do things!")
0 comments:
Post a Comment