Recovering

Two weeks have passed since I last blogged. I wish I could write that within that two week period, I won the recovery from PPD. I cannot write that yet tonight, so it will take some time before I am completely healed. However, I have made wonderful progress.

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, instead of a recovery play-by-play, I want to use this post to thank all of those who have been so instrumental in helping to lead me on the road to recover.

• First and foremost, My Heavenly Father. Through his word and words written by those who follow him closely (Like Beth Moore, Chonda Peirce, Neil T Anderson, Max Lucado etc), I have been better able to see through some of the lies that were invading my thoughts.
• Those in the medical field and PPD specialties that saw through my Pollyanna smile and knew that I was at a high risk level. MY PCP and her ref. agent jumped through hoops to get me seen early by one of the best Psychiatrists in town. Also, Helena Bradford, has been a constant support and advocate for those who have PPD. Thanks also to my very wise psychiratrist Dr. Ira Rosenshien. My skin may be a little thin for his blunt manner, but I trust his knowledge and know that medically he'll get me on the right track. I am also seeing a wonderful Christian Therapist who works at the counseling center of our new church. She is amazing.
• My family -Napp and I have been through so much together during the past 8 years and this has got to be the depths of it. He may not understand off of this, but by golly he is sticking by me through some crazy junk and loves me just the same. So understood or not, I've gotta give him props and love for that.
• My mom - Although she's going through so many trials of her own, my mom really came through for me. She took take of Xylie when I first came to Millersburg and she made sure I had everything I needed. I really felt that my breakdown has brought us closer together. Additionally, my mom, along with my sister, JeanAnn drove part of the way to pick us up. She also supplied Xylie and Zayden with all of their winter-wear.
  
• My PapPap - Just seeing my precious PapPap did wonders for my spirit. I missed him so much and although I grieve still the relationship we once had, I certainly am thankful that we can at least have one now. Tears dwell in my eyes now as I remember the dreamy expression on his face when he first saw me. And although communication was frustration on many levels, we were able to communicate some and even played tic-tac-toe and hangman. Xylie loved visiting PapPap and entertained everyone in the nursing home with her somgs and daces.
• My sister JeanAnn -JeanAnn took the brunt of it. She is nine years my younger but during the past two weeks, my little "Itzy Bitzy Schnitzy" was a rock. She welcome me and my kids along with our mess into her home. She, a "swingin' single" was thrust into the throes of oatmeal between her toes, spit up on her favorite pillows and being awakened by roaring cries of a hungry 6-month-old. She handled my moods swings with grace and charm. I now feel like the younger sister.
• My sister Maranda - Mer and I didn't get to see each other as often as we had hoped, because her 3 month-old son (nuff said eh?) is on a different schedule than Zayden. However, even though she had stress of her own, Mer always greeted me with a smile, helped bath my kids and offered lots of emotional support. Mer's husband Shane also helped by getting a crib ready for Zayden and being willing to hold and comfort him if he wasn't already taking care of little Jack)
  
• Gram - My Gram will be 80 years-old next August, but let me tell you, this is one touch, but sweet cookie. Gram came by the house almost everyday just to take care of Zayden (Xylie was mostly with my mom and my mom's neighbor Lauren Goodling) and talked with me. She always did the dishes even though I insisted she didn't. I cannot tell you how much she made me feel loved. For the record, she's actually my step grandmother. Her son, Steve, adopted me when I was 7. I write that only because when I complained once that my knee was stiff she told me that it could be arthritis because it runs in her side of the family. I felt so loved!!
• The above-mentioned Dad - Despite his late night schedule, my dad and JeanAnn drove us half way home on Saturday. Dad was also very encouraging.
  
• Aunt Di - Aunt Di brought us meals, watched the kids numerous times and lent me her shoulder more than once.
• Aunt Connie - In addition to bringing comic relief Aunt Connie encouraged me about my mothering skills and played with the kids often. She also took Xylie to Chuck E Cheeses.
• My Cousin Kelly - Kelly called me several times during my visit, helped with the CEC run and also brought over lunch and listened to my story. She is a gentle spirit.
• Those were all family members in Millersburg, PA who helped me with my recovery. I do have family members elsewhere as well. I also would be remiss if I did not include some of my in laws who are truly family as well.
• Napp's Mom - Suzan Holloway Hayward and his Step Father Jeff Hayward- Suzan and Jeff drove to SC from South Georgia and brought a whole collection of fall/winter clothes for Xylie. Additionally they organized them all in her close so I would't have to come back to that. They helped clean out the kids closests and also helped with some household chores so the place would be in order for our arrival. Suzan Prepares some meals that can be frozen. She and Jeff also bought us a new futon cover and curtians to spruce the place up a bit. Every thing looks so lovely!
  
• Now, since this is a long post, before I get to the friends section I am going to include some photos.

A picture of Maranda, Me, and JeanAnn taken about 2 years ago
Most Recent Pictures of Jack Morrison. Isn't he a cutie? We all agreed that he and Zayden look like total opposites but are equal in cuteness.

I forgot to pack my camera. JeanAnn took a whole bunch with hers and has promised to e-mail so to me so I can post them. She has some great ones of the kids playing together, but be patient with her as she still has dial up! LOL